Anyway, we used Matthews last carrot on that gambit, so we had to try alternatives. Mayfield and Belov presents: Camp Here and There. So, campers, since very few of you brought hazmat suits to camp next time, pay attention to the list on the website! It happened down by Cabin Grasshopper I was out behind it, picking flowers for my concoctions, when above me I heard an odd scrabbling noise. Theres something huge going on that seriously involves me. And he took it with him all around camp to archery, to lunch; even on his kayak. However, any attention from adults is like poison to an embryonic queen, so the egg has evolved to emit pheromones which attract adolescent creatures and repel mature ones. Down past the southside fence and up Churchover Hill, theres a wheat farm where soil and grass alike are deathly shades of gray, where the rottenfruit trees impart their desiccated boons, and the wheat does not sway in the wind so much as flail and shudder and gasp. I mean, its for everyone, kind of, but yeah? A minute out of this whole stupid day is all I ask. In first place, Cabin Magpie Moth resident Bryce Negley, who won with the word [SO MANY DIFFERENT WORDS LAYERED OVER EACH OTHER ITS UNINTELLIGIBLE]! But the camp cant handle this! Joshua, listen to me. Trust us.. But I cant abandon you kids with no kind of announcement, so how, so h about another dream? Its a bit of an acquired texture, that dish, but it should help mend the kids who visited the teeth flowers this afternoon. No I mean, yes, I like chatting with you and I want to do it more, but today, its more like were worried about you. I got a super magical safe installed to protect my precious, stupid diary , so theres no need to worry about all your friends trapped in the forest! [He laughs]. I dont want to I just wanna know whats going on so I can deal with it. What really put me off was the fact that the white-toothed man was the only nurse I ever saw in Sydneys room. [SHUFFLING AND A CREAKING FROM HIS CHAIR]. Camp Here & There is the sole intellectual property of its production company, Mayfield and Belov. On that topic the Elephant Mans stealing habits are getting more arbitrary. (NICE AGAIN -AGENT23) Human ingenuity means we live in a time where clocks can be convincingly carved and colored to resemble any material under the sun, but they all feel the same to the touch. A part of me really does feel like this is my fault, like I put myself into this situation by by lashing out and acting immature, but I mean, it definitely was contraband! It was a simple matter of knowing my animal handling, really. The prospect of that is horrific, but honestly, Im on my third week without decent coffee, and I dont rightly have the energy to try and stop you. I. Elijah. Even though I knew she wouldnt respond Id decided I didnt need her, and admitting I did was out of the question. So hurry up and eat, little loves, and dont stay in the water too terribly long or your skin might acquire a variety of fun new colors. I couldnt be happier! Its a its a unique experience. You are being an asshole. Okay, I dont know why Im still trying to look on the bright side here I know nobody listens to these reports. . Then theres the trials of everyday life on the planet Earth. You gotta find someone who can make a great meatball and sauce. Jedidiah came to the same conclusion as we did: that Joshua must have gotten trapped in the loop by chance. And tonights activity is night swim! Todays breakfast is sunflower seeds coated in a mixture of powdered sugar and raw flour; another southern home-cooked classic! CAN YOU GET DOWN FROM THERE? His first day of college? Hoping against hope that this elephant guy doesnt show up again. I dont know where it came from or exactly how long its been lingering. He probably will just take the colony elsewhere, seeing as the lake will freeze over come winter. Listen, if you think there should be some kind of rules in place about what Sydney can and cant say to the kids, I Thats not unreasonable. Its yknow, fear and excitement, two sides of the same coin. Like, yeah, okay, the hive was scary, but the whole world is scary. On todays menu is watermelon cut into dodecahedrons, toppling tower tofu, and a healthy helping of the snack that smiles back sausage! You lieeeee, Architect. Bow to your knees and praise the Muse, and you will never again have your flesh torn by the ravenous Earth! Us! Im glad nothing worse happened than a bunch of visitors to the nurses office. I keep very close track of my worms, Jedidiah. Ahem, I-I mean. Hell, make stuff up! Uhm. I thought I was keeping her safe. A lot has happened, and I am thoroughly confused at this point. Us locals lovingly refer to the place as the Death Fields, and as the name might indicate, it is not a place where the still-breathing are welcome. Also, do your best to ignore the unknowable object which constantly floats in (or perhaps, hovers above?) The sink isn't going to get repaired is it? . Yes! But, uh, you guys know Junipers not coming with you, right? I am Jedidiah Martin, assistant nurse at Camp Here and There. But its eyes shed tears all the same. Saying this in a dating profile, however, is funny! There you are! I apologize for [Sniff] for interrupting your lunch a mere few minutes after my last announcement, but I-I-Ive got [Sniff] urgent news, and an even more urgent request! Even so disheveled. I will be the one to crystalize the truth of your perfection. If you cant fill your niche, you disappear. Anyways, its shitty rest, but I got a good dream out of it last night. I have it. [Sigh] I sound so pathetic. Ah, right. I mean, sometimes he does . We are pretty good at resolving stuff on our own. Woo. In fact, thats what Im eating right now. If thats the case, I urge you to cling to that feeling. Excellent. The part of Jedidiah Martin was played by Nicholas Belov. What the fuck does he want with that? I mean wouldnt they want to know? For a few days, I was trying to use the data to try and sus out his motives for yknow, being around but I think the kids might be using the whole theft epidemic as an excuse to steal from each other. Hah. And you know what? I really dont think I should tell you anything else, Sydney. Now weve got counselors in hazmat suits braving the toxic air to slosh my serum all over everything. so thats what motherhood means for you?. Dont want to get a buttcheek ripped off, no sir. The fireworks fade. Let me go! Fresh. With the help and guidance of the Gravediggress, I was able to develop a potent serum which, if applied liberally to the deathcreep, should be able to significantly dull its effects so that it is no longer a deadly threat, but a mere tiresome inconvenience. With all the stuff Elijah said, and the way Jedidiahs been acting this Summer the secret, illegal packages, the bizarre outbursts, on top of the emotional distance Im not- not- Im not an idiot. I didnt tell the kids, but Marisol was ordered to help me, since she was sort of my accomplice in telling everyone about the Elephant Man which is totally unfair, obviously. Yeah, its good with me. I I see you all feel the effect as well. I remember across the table, a thick, black frame around a family of centipedes, their corpses pinned and preserved. Its a harmful one. It! Not as a show of [With undisguised disdain] favoritism towards you. And he said no. Nice. The thing that youre doing wrong here is keeping Sydney in this weird friendship-limbo. For all I knew, Sydney was dead, and I told the man as much! alright. Its not his problem. Only you can carry out this task. Yeah, looked sound asleep. I assure you all, Matthew will be back with his beloved comfort-cooking tomorrow. No! Okay? Special thanks to our patrons: Pinesicle and Moth. Hey, Sydney. Somehow ? That wasnt really your fault. But Im not trying to mess with you. I I swear to God, the more I look at it, the more I feel like all the letters are, like moving. Yes, Im reporting live from deep in the woods to bring you the play-by-play on todays Counselor Olympics. Campers, I wish you a good time with your interpretive activities; counselors, please meet me at the bonfire following breakfast. On your mental state. Im going to be nothing again. I will not let you get away with that. Two is such an unsatisfying number. . And once he was in the box, the natural dimming effect of cardboard severed the magical connection between Soren and the rabbit which means it should have stopped moving. Fuck, Sydney, can you hear me right now? [She chuckles coyly] Then Im afraid I do not know to whom you refer. Although, of course, his knack for engineering came in handy during the electricity hunt. Even when camps not on, right? Listen, lets theres a reason were here. And whats more, this time he had a was it a robe? Ghost recorder, old friend. I gotta be honest, the sensation is somewhat reminiscent of of what happens to me when I see the Elephant Man could be hes the one whos done this to us. Today was draining. But its really something today. Sleep peacefully, and I mm. [Barely audible] I dont want to bother him with this, Good evening, campers. Were here to set the record straight: feeding someone one of these oranges would legally be considered assault with a deadly weapon. Uhmm. I dont. Embrace Her power! They didnt hurt me. He gets you to banter with him. Alright, campers, you can go back to eating. I cant imagine how excited you all must be I mean, Im this excited, and Im not even gonna be a part of the contest! The part of Jedidiah Martin was played by Nicholas Belov. What are you waiting for?, 2nd year psychology student, so Ill get in your head before giving you head. Maybe you should start your own Summer Camp where counselors are sorted into Alphas and Omegas. Its tried me plenty before and when it does, I fight. I didnt have to apologize, for everyone to hear, and say that I was the one who messed up. Um. Bring your hand close but dont touch. Can we call this session adjourned? It could be me. Its 25:25. [Laughing a little] Jesus. Hes pretty short, his hair is dark and and really long. Just because your parents love you doesnt mean they wont hurt you, and youre all going to die one day! Like yesterday, I advise you all to be on your guard and run away if you encounter him; and if he fills any of you counselors with fervor, you should use that motivation to, like, attack him. If you swipe left now thatll be the end of it. The campers of Camp Here & There have been calm and peaceful today, and have done nothing to take advantage of Opposite Day for greedy and destructive purposes. But he wanted me to tell you that this mornings breakfast is going to be a little slow thats right: its escargot! ", 500 characters isnt really enough to demonstrate my wit and intelligence so just look at my banging cleavage for now., Sooo youre looking for the one huh? As violent as you are, you couldnt kill a rabbit that was already dead. . Spreadin fear, stealin shampoo, and givin Sydney the willies. Ng. ", "If you're looking for a bad boy, look no further. And remember: youve angered it. Im floating through my existence. They seem to spread on for miles, and the macaroni militia told me that they hadnt even charted most of it. We were completely, hopelessly trapped. In accordance with the terms of my employment, Im dying on the fucking cross for you two again. Right. Theres no need for you to be worried, though. Ive got to do it, campers, because nobody else is going to. Todays episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. [Normal] Yes, its all just so charming. Weigh in, here: would or would not you kids consider this, the end of the day? Dinnertime? Just kidding. And its already started having consequences. He got mad. Joshua even had the bright idea of getting down on our hands and knees and simply begging for our freedom, acting every bit the feeble lesser lifeforms we seemed in their presence. Hhhhh. No matter how much it distracts you from work, or from our relationship, or seems dangerous, your project is allowed to stay private. [THIS TIME, THE CEREMONY DOES NOT FADE OUT AS ELIJAH STRUGGLES THROUGH THE FINAL PARAGRAPH, AN ACT WHICH CLEARLY CAUSES HIM PAIN. {{#message}}{{{message}}}{{/message}}{{^message}}Your submission failed. Please enter your email to complete registration. It all adds up to one big headache that makes you want to throw your phone against the wall. Anywhat. [Incensed] This afternoons activities are screaming until you pass out, and breaking your legs with hammers. I explained to him why exactly the Elephant Man disturbs me so much, because I figured out why. [He coughs.] You know. Anyway, talking just helps me work my thoughts out, I guess. Lets shall we move on, kids? I observed dully, like a doll atop a shelf, as this strange man gave in to his temptation to steal me away. They rally and frenzy. Oh, dear, alright. How did he know? I know how the color wheel works. ENTER SYDNEY, OUT OF BREATH]. Im glad that the shadows cast by his mask kept me from seeing his eyes; I probably would have passed right out. Matthews newest soup, a concoction of his own conception that hes calling: Apocalypse Stew! Its me. Names and perspectives. The man from the forest he wants you so badly. This tower was the magnificent creation of, [HE DOES A FAKE DRUMROLL WITH HIS MOUTH AS WELL AS ON THE TABLE]. Good news, its soup! Its far enough from the cabins. Everythings gonna be okay?, Oouuhh, dont worry, kids! MY MUSE MY HEART! Isnt it all too convenient how, just before were invaded by rowdy toffs, the campgrounds suddenly acquire a moat? And under the weight of all the misery inherent to growing up, I completely understand why you would resort to sowing chaos under the banner of unrest. But Ill never tell you. However ! I thought about everything Ive already torn apart and tossed away to keep him safe. This is a story about birth, my love. campers. Theres plenty to do in there, so get scrubbing away! Usually I have to do a lot more you know actually mediating. . ], Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice-messaging system. [Sigh] There are some bright spots in the soaking void that is today, however. [THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK CHIMES THE WESTMINSTER MELODY]. Im fine! My body is eaten. Theres a jagged, circular sort of crest at the top and the clock face is like a window to the sky. Spend some goddamn time with a person you call your friend. I hear a conspicuous lack of clapping from the mess hall lighten up, you guys! Normally thatd be an exciting mystery, but right now its just annoying. Yvonne here, at the helm of the announcements once again; since Jedidiah is currently lost in the woods, walking around in circles. Okay. These cookies collect information (which includes your IP address) that is used in aggregate form. I, uh, I couldnt quite tell what sort of creature it was from where it lurked within the shadows, but black feathers indicate corvids or, if were very unfortunate, perhaps. Thank you for listening to Camp Here & There! I I dont I get to talk about what I believe in!? You see, my expert data analysis skills have indicated to me that some of you are stealing from one another and using the Elephant Mans documented history of theft to shift the blame. I I I need to get out I NEED TO GET OUT !!! California voters have now received their mail ballots, and the November 8 general election has entered its final stage. Well, now you know. Choking down your screams when it hurts so much you feel like you might die is something only humans should do. Its like you dont even care about the kids here anymore. Yvonne, you first. I-In a trance for twenty-seven hours. Dont dont strain, I bumped you up a bit trying to get you down from the pyre. [Sniff] Its all that damned goo. Todays episode was written by Blue Mayfield and Nicholas Belov. In light of recent events, Im saddled with the unfortunate task of letting you all know that the nurses office is on semi-lockdown until further notice, and anyone who desires medical attention must be personally escorted by Jedidiah in order to be allowed inside. 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